


Spread Too Thin

by Rocofort



Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Character Study, Chuu is Chuu, F/F, Heavy Angst, Hurt, Yves POV, probably slow burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-21
Updated: 2020-12-09
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:48:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27644366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rocofort/pseuds/Rocofort
Summary: The people that have experienced the heaviest sadness and loneliness do everything they can to ensure no one else feels that way. For Jiwoo, her way of coping is spreading happiness to others, behind a mask of positivity and joy. It’s hard to express how you feel, the last thing Jiwoo would ever want is to be the cause of someone else’s sadness.(Inspired by that video of Chuu saying she feels guilty expressing herself sometimes and puts others emotions before hers)
Relationships: Ha Sooyoung | Yves/Kim Jiwoo | Chuu
Comments: 15
Kudos: 83





	1. to talk to someone

**Author's Note:**

> We don’t deserve Chuu. That is all.
> 
> also im a little high right now and i probably shouldnt post this but oh well
> 
> there is some slight language i think i should warn the reader just in case

One of the highlights of Sooyoung’s weeks were the study groups she participated in with her friend Jinsoul and her friends. At first, Sooyoung was relatively uninterested in studying with other people, opting to study in her quiet room. She couldn’t afford distractions that would let her grades suffer.

Yet, when Jinsoul practically begged her to tag along with her to the library one night, insisting Sooyoung would love her friends, she finally relented and agreed. Maybe it was because Jinsoul had been bothering her to join them for almost a month at that point, insisting Sooyoung needed to make more friends, or maybe she just had nothing better to do that Tuesday night.

No matter, agreeing to go was one of the best decisions Sooyoung had made. Because of it, she met Kim Jiwoo.

Jiwoo was a bright, beautiful smile on a dull day. Jiwoo was a warm, welcoming hug and a boisterous laugh. Jiwoo was the sun incarnated in a gorgeous human. Sooyoung was just sucked in by her presence, like anyone else who was lucky enough to know her.

So the next time Jinsoul mentioned she was going to study with Junguen and Jiwoo, Sooyoung all but invited herself to join her.

-

“Jinsoul, I’m working today until five o’clock, you think you could wait to study so I can join you guys after?”

Her roommate gave her a smile, “Yeah sure, but you know, you could just set up your own study dates if you want to spend time with Jiwoo that bad.”

Sooyoung rolled her eyes, a light blush dusting her cheeks. 

“Like you can talk, I can feel the sexual tension whenever Jungeun so much as exists near you.”

“Yeah well at least I take her out to do other stuff than study! You have been meaning to ask her out for weeks and still haven’t!”

“I’m waiting for the right opportunity. I don’t even know if she likes me that way, I mean, its kinda hard to tell who she actually likes with how she shows affection to literally everyone under the sun.” Sooyoung grumbled, looking around for her baseball cap with the logo of the chicken place she works at.

“Trust me Soo, she likes you, Junguen said she talks about you a lot.”

Sooyoung took in this information, boosting her ego slightly, she grinned and kept searching for her uniform. After finding it, she makes sure she has everything she needs before yelling out a goodbye to her roommate and leaving for work. Heading down the stairs of her apartment, she checked her phone and saw she had some texts from her dad.

Dread filled her mind, because her father never contacted her unless he needed something. Warning bells rang as she opened her phone and looked. 

Dad: Your Statistics and Business Ethics grades are under As

Dad: Get them up before the end of semester

Sooyoung sighed. She hasn’t talked to her dad in over a month, and the only reason he could find to contact her is for her grades. Since he is paying to get her through college, he has the liberty to check her grades as he pleases, considering he also has given large donations to the college she attends as well.

His expectations of having Sooyoung inheriting his place in Ha Enterprise puts an extreme amount of pressure. Two B+s’ mean failure.

Not a word for over a month. Nothing. And this is what he says after all that time. Sooyoung doesn’t know why it still upsets her. This has been her whole life. Everything has been showered onto her by her parents, everything but her parents time, they have given her. She doesn’t even need her stupid job, but her father monitors all the transactions on the card with money he gave her, so she needs a way to make money to spend for herself. 

She lets her anger stew as she drives to work in the BMW she got on her 16th birthday from her dad. Him handing her the keys was the only time she saw him that day.

She still is upset as she starts her six hour shift, and the customers are not helping her mood.

-

“Ma’am, I can’t refund you for chicken you already ate.” Sooyoung said, trying to keep her headache at bay.

“Well, it tasted funny, I want a refund.” The woman demanded, pressing her fingers on the counter. 

“If it tasted funny you shouldn’t have eaten it.”  
Sooyoung said, looking to her manager Jihyo for help. 

“Let me speak to your manager, I should be able to get my money back,” the woman said, raising her voice and shoving a finger in her face.

Jihyo heard the woman’s shouting and came over to take care of it, explaining the same thing Sooyoung had explained earlier. Jihyo really was an angel, swooping in and saving Sooyoung from doing something that might make her lose her job.

Her fifteen minute break couldn’t come soon enough.

“Sir, I’m sorry but that coupon expired four years ago, the system won’t recognize it and there is nothing I can do.” She explained for the third time. Yeah, her headache was not going away anytime soon.

The man continued to stubbornly insist he should get his free fries. Sooyoung promptly decided to just shut her mouth and let the man just yell about his coupons.

Maybe he was just having a shit day too.

Sooyoung understood.

-

As soon as five o’clock rolled around, Sooyoung was out the door. She couldn’t wait to get home and shower the smell of fried food out of her hair and clothes.

Jinsoul texted her saying they were meeting at the library now and she could meet them when she was done.

Sooyoung may or may not have ignored some road safety laws to get home faster. The thought of seeing Jiwoo after today was good motivation to get home. Heading that Jiwoo liked her back was making Sooyoung giddy with excitement.

After taking a shower faster than her friend Hyunjin, (Who commonly brags about taking a shower in 47 seconds. Quite a specific time, but Hyunjin was always a bit odd.) she put on a crop top with baggy black jeans, showing off quite a bit of skin. Sooyoung was very confident in her body, but with Jiwoo, her confidence tended to abandon her. Debating in her head, she settled on grabbing a leather jacket before rushing out the door with her backpack, full of homework she had every intention of completing, but was likely going to be ignored.

The drive to the library is only a few minutes, and Sooyoung was hyping herself up the whole way. Sooyoung had known the girl for a few months, and had come to know Jiwoo to be innocent and loving. The first time they met, Sooyoung remembered how open and cheery she was, pulling Sooyoung into a bear hug when they had to part ways. Sooyoung felt an urge to just protect the younger girl at all costs. She smiled to herself as she parked, thinking of her infectious, toothy grin.

She entered and headed straight to their usual spot, on the second floor in the back. That way Jiwoo and Jinsoul could be loud without bothering people and without making the librarians mad. As she climbed the stairs, she could already hear Jinsoul and Jungeun screeching out what they call laughter. She headed over to their table, trying to look as nonchalant as possible to hide her nervousness.

“Sooyoung!” Jiwoo yelled, jumping up from her chair which almost tipped over in the process. The shorter girl ran over and practically jumped in her arms. The distinct smell of strawberry that was just so Jiwoo overtook her senses, and the headache she had suddenly stopped pounding into her skull. 

“Hi, Jiwoo, I’m really happy to see you.” Sooyoung spoke gently, melting in her embrace. As much as Sooyoung would love to cherish Jiwoo’s hugs all to herself, she knows that everyone who is lucky enough to know the girl gets the same hug.

They separated and Sooyoung sat down between Jinsoul and Jiwoo, waving to Jungeun as she pulled out her laptop. 

“So, how was work today.” Jinsoul asked, nudging her arm teasingly. 

“Ugh, please don’t get me started.” Sooyoung said, rubbing her temples. “I can’t imagine I’d still be working there if it wasn’t for Jihyo. That woman is something else.”

“She’s the really hot one right?” Jinsoul asked, almost as if she was trying to get a reaction.

“Shut up Jinsoul.” Jungeun and Jinsoul started talking in hushed tones before breaking out in rocious laughter.

Sooyoung smiled slightly, used to being the expense of Jinsoul’s jokes. However, it was hard to concentrate on much with her terrible headache returning. Sooyoung shut her eyes for a moment, trying to take a deep breath to calm herself.

“Do you have a headache Sooyoungie?” Jiwoo asked, a pout forming on her lips.

“Well… it’s really not that bad I-” 

“Hey- Junguen, you can quit cackling for a minute to give Sooyoung some quiet.”

Junguen looked at her best friend and grinned, nodding while zipping her lips shut. Jinsoul and Junguen continued talking in hushed tones, leaving Sooyoung under Jiwoo’s almost scrutinizing gaze.

“Are you okay Sooyoung? Is something else bothering you.” Sooyoung looked up at the younger girl, and Jiwoo’s eyes were filled with such worry and concern and affection it made her heart flutter. The girl had a way of just knowing if you were troubled, and her inviting personality made her easy to talk to.

“Yeah, I’ve kinda had a rough day, you know? Work sucks, customers suck, my dad sucks, school sucks. I’m just feeling a lot of pressure. That and my head is pounding like a bitch.” 

“Your dad? I don’t think I’ve ever heard you talk about him.” Jiwoo said, contemplative.

Sooyoung shrugged, “Not much to really say. He’s just mad that my grades dropped slightly in two classes. I don’t know, he just… he’s never really there for me. Sure he’s paying to get me through college and all that, sure he buys me nice things, but I don’t think he cares about me sometimes.”

Jiwoo nodded solemnly. “Well, just know that you have other people that do care about you!” Jiwoo said, her eyes squinting to crescents as she flashed her beautiful grin. Sooyoung couldn’t help but feel as if a genuine weight had been lifted off her shoulders. She just wanted to gather Jiwoo up and keep her in her pocket for safekeeping.

“Thanks Jiwoo, that means a lot to me. You always know how to make me feel better.” Jiwoo just grabbed her hands, giving them a squeeze, before turning back to her textbook. Jiwoo let go of one as she turned, but kept Sooyoung's right hand in a firm hold as she went back to taking notes. With her right hand being held hostage, there wasn’t much she could do but just get lost watching Jiwoo.

As she sat there, thinking, staring at their joined hands, Sooyoung realized she really didn’t know much about Jiwoo. Sure, she knew her favorite color was peach, and she knew her personality well, but she couldn’t tell you much else about the girl. Sooyoung really wanted to change that. 

The group of girls got quiet as they all settled into a comfortable silence, getting their work done. Sooyoung knew she was probably weird for watching Jiwoo like this, but the way she occasionally bit her lip, scrunching her eyebrows as she read her textbook was calling for Sooyoung’s attention. Plus, even if Jiwoo noticed Sooyoung’s obvious staring, she didn’t say anything about it.

Sooyoung was contemplating whether she should ask Jiwoo out now. They were already holding hands, and Jiwoo was just so endearing and adorable Sooyoung was dreading the thought of waiting any longer to ask. 

Sooyoung was nervous. Most times girls came to her. She was pretty out there with her sexuality, and she never felt strongly about someone to pursue them before. Just another thing that made Jiwoo so different. 

Sooyoung wasn’t completely sure if Jiwoo liked girls, because the way Jinsoul teased her about the younger girl heavily implied it. But, there was always a lingering thought questioning whether or not she was being a delusional idiot, reading Jiwoo’s bubbly affection wrong. 

After some more deliberation, Sooyoung came to the conclusion that it wasn’t every lifetime you would come across a person like Kim Jiwoo, and she wasn’t going to waste the opportunity she had.

“Hey Jiwoo?” She asked, rubbing her thumb across their joined hands. The girl put her pen down, looking up.

“Yeah?”

“Um-well… we have known each other for a few months now and I was wondering if you wanted to get to know each other outside of studying and maybe we could do something together alone sometime or-”

“Ha Sooyoung, are you asking me out on a date?” Jiwoo asked, interrupting Sooyoung’s embarrassing rambling.

“Well yeah. I am asking you. I want to spend more time with you and get to know you better.” Sooyoung said, feeling her confidence returning slowly.

Jiwoo’s smile slowly fell, and her expression changed into a slight frown. Seconds passed and it seemed the younger girl was thinking hard about Sooyoung’s question. The more time that passed, the more dread replaced her confidence. She gently let go of Jiwoo’s hand, folding them on her lap. She could feel that Jinsoul and Jungeun were watching the whole exchange, which made her want to cry in embarrassment. Sooyoung was ready to stand up and leave, feeling the threat of tears forming in her eyes. Finally, the girl spoke up, a surprisingly neutral expression on her face.

“I’m sorry Sooyoung, but I can’t.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i finished writing this in my literature zoom so you know im dedicated to the chuuves agenda now kids

Sooyoung didn’t live with too many regrets, but the way she ran out on Chuu and her friends after being rejected was something she was beginning to regret more and more. She sat in her car, tears falling, unable to move. She had dealt with rejection and break ups before, everyone has. But none of them were with someone as incredible as Kim Jiwoo. 

Sooyoung felt astronomically stupid at the moment. Her fear she has always harbored as a gay mess came true. She misread someone’s friendliness as flirting and now probably lost an extremely important person in her life.

Sooyoung sighed, starting her car. She just wanted to think about something else for a while. Sooyoung glanced at her dashboard, realizing it was almost seven. With her mind racing, she drove around aimlessly for a while. Maybe she should have let Jiwoo explain more instead of running away like an idiot, because clearly the girl had something else she wanted to say.

But, Sooyoung had a feeling the girl was going to just explain to her how she only sees her as a friend and doesn’t swing that way. Which is fine, but the way Jiwoo treated her made her feel like anything but a friend. 

Her phone started ringing, snapping Sooyoung out if her daze, she saw it was Jinsoul and was really tempted to ignore the call, but her roommate was probably worried about her and she didn’t deserve to be ignored. She wanted to act petty, but Jinsoul was kind enough to wait almost an hour before calling her, the girl didn’t deserve the crap Sooyoung put her through. 

Talking a deep breath, she answered and put it on speaker.

“Hello?” 

“Sooyoung? Where are you right now?” Jinsoul asked, speaking quickly.

“I’m-um… I’m just driving.” Sooyoung answered, trying not to let her voice crack from crying.

“Well, we went back to Jungeun’s apartment and Jiwoo really isn’t doing well. I think you should come over and talk things out.” Jinsoul said, her nervousness obvious in her voice.

Sooyoung heard, who she assumed was Jiwoo say, ‘what are you doing Jinsoul, I’m fine,’ in the background and Sooyoung was getting confused.

Jiwoo rejected her. How could she possibly be doing as bad as Sooyoung right now? 

“Um… look I have some stuff to do. Maybe I can stop by tomorrow.” Sooyoung replied, remembering the amount of unfinished homework she has.

“Soo, hold on.” She heard some shuffling around before Jinsoul spoke again, in a much softer tone. “I know you really like Jiwoo, and I just don’t want you to give up on her. Jungeun said-”

“I don’t care what Jungeun said!” Sooyoung yelled, anger rising as she interrupted her. “Did Junguen also tell you Jiwoo is into me, because she’s not. I just fucked everything up so don’t even try to convince me she still somehow likes me. I know you want to see me happy but she clearly doesn’t like me so why bother.?”

Jinsoul was quiet after a few moments, before finally speaking.

“Just… talk to her. You both mean a lot to each other.” Jinsoul said, so softly that Sooyoung wanted to apologize for yelling.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have raised my voice at you. You’re just trying to help me out.” 

“Soo, it’s fine. Shit happens.” Jinsoul said, “Tomorrow, okay?”

“Yeah,” Sooyoung said numbly, “tomorrow.”

Sooyoung didn’t get any homework done that night.

-

Sooyoung wasn’t going to ignore Jiwoo. Sure, maybe she said she could cover her co-workers shift later today, something she never usually did, and made sure she was busy the whole day, but she was not ignoring the younger girl. 

The girl hadn’t reached out to her, so it was more like she was ignoring Jinsoul’s constant reminders of what Sooyoung had to do.

She left her and Jinsoul’s shared apartment earlier than normal, trying to avoid her roommate. Last night she slept as soon as she got to her bed, ignoring the catastrophe that was her stupid confession. Why did she do it in front of Jinsoul and Junguen? It was so embarrassing, Sooyoung groaned at the thought of it. For some reason, Sooyoung didn’t even consider Jiwoo would say no. No girl she had ever asked out had said no before, not like that was saying a lot as she had only asked out two girls in her lifetime. (Normally she was the one being asked out)

Jinsoul always reminded her she was one of the most pined after girls in highschool, and college wasn’t much different. Sooyoung could probably find a girlfriend in twenty minutes if she really wanted to, but her mind was so hung up on Jiwoo.

She decided to walk to class today, considering she had the extra time, hoping a walk would help her clear her head.

Why did she always fall for girls that were either straight or unavailable? 

The more Sooyoung thought about it, the more she realized she was being immature. Jiwoo was one of those people that, once they came into your life, you would be stupid to let them go. You wouldn’t find anyone quite like them ever again.

As painful as it would be to be friends with the girl she had fallen for, it was better than nothing. Sooyoung grabbed her phone as she walked, scrolling to Jiwoo’s contact. Nervously she pressed the call button. It rang a few seconds and for a moment Sooyoung thought she wasn’t going to pick up. She probably deserved that.

“Hello?”

“Jiwoo? It’s me Sooyoung. I-I was wondering if you would be willing to meet up with me tomorrow, I have some things I need to say.”

The other side of the line was quiet, for a few seconds too long, and Sooyoung assumed the worst.

“Look you don’t have to meet up actually, I can say this over the phone I-”

“Sure.” The girl interrupted suddenly.

“Sure… you’ll meet me?” Sooyoung asked, almost in disbelief.

“Yeah Soo, I’ll meet you.” The girl sounded so uncharacteristically quiet, it made Sooyoung even more nervous.

“I’ll pick you up then, how does five o’clock sound?”

“That’s fine.”

“Okay, text me where you want to be picked up from.”

“Sure.” The girl’s brief answers concerned Sooyoung as well. Usually the girl would find any way to extend the conversation, refusing to be the one to hang up.

“Jiwoo?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have acted like a baby. Really, I’ll make it up to you if you would let me.”

“Okay, I have to go,” there was another pause, “bye.”

Then, the line went quiet. Sooyoung sighed. She deserved that.

-

Sooyoung got home late, exhausted from class and work. The apartment was quiet, and Sooyoung carelessly kicked off her shoes to the side as she set down her bag.

She had some unanswered texts from her dad she really didn’t want to open, but it was her dad, there wasn’t much she could do. He could take everything from her at a moments notice, and Sooyoung would be lying if she said she wasn’t scared of him a little.

He tended to replace his presence with money, so Sooyoung was raised by the staff of the mansion she grew up in. Her father wasn’t around much. Sometimes Sooyoung forgot what his voice sounded like.

Sooyoung flopped down on the couch, letting her body melt into the cushions. Her mind wandered back to the one time she could remember her father truly paying attention to her.

Sooyoung had never been more excited for anything in her life. It was the dance performance she and her team had been preparing for months for. 

She was giddy with excitement, as her and her team piled off the bus and headed to the dressing room. It was one of the most important performances of her life. They were to be the opening act at a huge music festival in the city. As a freshman who somehow managed to make the team with seniors, Sooyoung was a bundle of nerves. Her fourteen year old mind couldn’t quite process the scale of the event. She invited everyone, her dad, her caretaker Yongsun, Jinsoul, and the girl she may or may not have had a huge crush on, Kahei. She was a quiet foreign exchange student, and Sooyoung was doing everything she could to be better friends with the girl.

In the dressing room, she hastily applied her makeup, one of her teammates helping do her hair. Sooyoung knew her father wasn’t going to come, and even though she knew this, she wasn’t sure why she went through all the effort of handwriting him an invitation. If she wasn’t so nervous, she would have been pissed. This was one of the most important performances she would ever put on, there would be thousands of people in the crowd, and her father wasn’t here. 

It wasn’t easy to control her anger, she wanted to do something to hurt her father, like he had hurt her. She wanted to make him as mad as she was. Sooyoung didn’t know much about her fathers line of work, but knew he was relatively famous, and certainly cared about their public image. He always made sure Sooyoung was taught how to act in public. There was a time a few years ago when a few strangers took pictures of her on the street with her friends, because news got out her mother was missing. Sooyoung remembered finding the articles that night.

But her mother was another story.

She wanted to throw away everything she learned about how to act in public down the drain. 

As Sooyoung stepped onto the stage, the rush of thousands of pairs of eyes on her lit a fire beneath her. She scanned for Jinsoul and Kahei but wasn’t able to spot them, but she knew they were there, somewhere in the sea of people.

The stage darkened and they got into positions. The song started and Sooyoung felt like she was floating as she went through the choreography. Her muscles practically did it on their own, Sooyoung probably didn’t even need to have her eyes open to do it.

The noise from the crowd deafened, thousands of cheering faces gave Sooyoung more confidence as her body followed the rhythm. It felt like anything was possible, like this was what she was born to do.

When the performance concluded, Sooyoung ran off the stage trying to find her friends in the crowd. When she spotted Jinsoul’s loud platinum blonde hair in the crowd, she pushed her way through to meet them.

“Soo!” Jinsoul said, turning as she spotted her. 

“Jinsoul, Kahei. Thanks so much for coming.” Sooyoung said, still slightly out of breath.

“Sooyoung, your dancing is incredible! I’m so blown away, your whole team looked awesome!” Kahei said, giving her a shy smile. 

“Thanks, it really means a lot that you guys came.” 

Jinsoul grinned at her and wrapped her into a big, tugging Kahei into the hug with her. When they seperated, Sooyoung noticed the amount of people crowding them. They were all cheering and yelling, because Sooyoung was a member in a pretty notorious dance school. Everyone knew who they were. She hadn’t bothered to change so she was still in her dance costume, making it pretty obvious who she was.

She got an idea.

“Hey Kahei, I really like you, and the reason I invited you here was because I was hoping to ask you out on a date. So, would you like to go on a date with me?”

Kahei blushed furiously, nodding her head shyly. “I like you to Sooyoung.”

Sooyoung wrapped her hands mischievously around the older girl’s waist.

“Could I kiss you?” Sooyoung asked bluntly, making the girl blush impossibly pinker.

The girl nodded and Sooyoung didn’t waste time connecting their lips. It was her first kiss, and Kahei was a year older than her, but it was still incredible. In the background she heard Jinsoul let out a cheer, the crowd growing louder. Even with her eyes shut, she could still see the flashing lights of cameras going off.

Maybe her father would notice after all.

That night at the festival, she had one of the best nights of her life. Yongsun was there, showering her with support and eagerly met Kahei. Her and Kahei spent the night together, playing games and listening to different artists perform.

When Yongsun took her home that night, she felt like she was truly living. Maybe she didn’t need her father.

Her dreams were pleasant that night.

She woke up to Yongsun shaking her awake. 

“Unnie it’s Saturday, what do I have to get up for?” Sooyoung asked, snuggling deeper under her covers.

“Sooyoung, you have to get up now.” She said urgently, an underlying nervousness to her voice. “Your father is coming. He will be here soon.”

That definitely woke her up. Her father never stopped by the house randomly, unless it was super important. Sooyoung didn’t really think he would actually come home because of what she did. 

Sitting up in her bed, she grabbed her phone and quickly searched her name. Article after article exposing what she did last were all over business related news. Sooyoung didn’t quite process it. Was it really that big of a deal that she kissed a girl? What did her father do again?

She ran to get dressed, remembering how urgent Yongsun sounded. Usually the older woman was laid back, but something about her tone scared Sooyoung.

She headed down the long hall to the kitchen, where Sooyoung’s personal chef and Yongsun usually could be found.

Byulyi, her chef, was talking to Yongsun in a hushed tone. When they heard Sooyoung enter, they both looked at her, Byulyi giving her a smile.

“Your father wants you to wait in his office until he gets here, I’ll cook you your favorite while you wait.” 

“Thank you unnie.” The both gave her a solemn look, making Sooyoung more scared. Maybe she took it too far this time.

Sooyoung was snapped out of her thoughts by Jinsoul, who was talking on the phone, entering the dorm. She wasn’t upset at her roommate's loud entry, interrupting her thoughts, it wasn’t a happy memory anyway.

“You know what, I’ll call you back in a few, I have to go.” Jinsoul said, staring right at Sooyoung.

The girl hung up her phone and crossed her arms, just standing there staring at Sooyoung.

Sooyoung got the feeling she was about to get her ass chewed out. She probably deserved it.

“Sooyoung…” Jinsoul said carefully. “How was your day today?” 

“Fine…” there was a drawn out pause between them, Sooyoung hated it, “look, you don’t have to dance around the elephant in the room. I know I fucked up. I’m gonna make things better, don’t worry.”

Jinsoul nodded her head.

“And Jinsoul, I’m sorry again for blowing up at you. I was acting like a child. Thank you for putting up with me, it helps to know you will always be here for me.” 

Jinsoul let out a laugh, “Damn Soo, pining after Jiwoo sure has made you soft. Please, shower me with compliments while you’re at it.” 

Sooyoung groaned, faking anger at her roommate’s playful jests, “This is what I get for trying to express my feelings, never again.” 

“No Soo, I’m teasing, I love you lots.” The girl whined, flopping next to her on the couch, wrapping her in a hug. “Seriously though, I know this doesn’t mean a lot from me, but just talk to Jiwoo. Get to know her more. Things will work out.”

“Thanks Jinsoul.” Sooyoung said, untangling herself from Jinsoul’s hug and standing up from the couch. “I’m gonna head to bed, I already talked to Jiwoo and set up a time to talk to her, I really don’t want to screw this up more than I already have.”

“You got this.” Jinosul said, encouraging her with a thumbs up.

-

Sooyoung definitely didn’t have this. She was sitting in her idling car, waiting for Jiwoo to show up. The younger girl texted her, telling her to pick her up by the fine arts buildings on campus. Sooyoung had been waiting for a few minutes, and the longer she waited, the more her nerves were getting to her. Sooyoung was planning on taking Jiwoo to a park nearby, the smell of takeout she picked up on the way here wafting in her car. She hoped Jiwoo liked what she got, what if she didn’t like Thai? Maybe she should have asked Junguen-

Sooyoung was moments away from a panicked frenzy when there was a knock on the passenger window. Jiwoo was there, grinning her signature toothy grin, her hair up in pigtails.

Sooyoung’s mind went blank. What was she thinking of earlier? Jiwoo knocked again, reminding Sooyoung she should probably unlock the car and let her in.

“Hi Soo!” Jiwoo greeted, hopping in the car, her voice light and cheerful. This wasn’t anything like Jinsoul described yesterday. Sooyoung genuinely thought she was upset, but here Jiwoo was, jovial and boisterous, like nothing even happened.

Sooyoung probably would have been put off by this, but the way Jiwoo was looking at her made her mind blank.

“Soo what is that smell? It smells so good?” Jiwoo said, buckling up her seatbelt. Sooyoung remained quiet. Was this how other people felt when they asked Sooyoung out? Unable to form words. No thoughts. Nothing. Empty head.

“Sooooyoung… are we just gonna sit in your car?” The girl asked, a teasing lilt in her tone.

“Um, well I got us some takeout, and I-I really wanted to apologize to you for the way I acted. It was childish and kinda stupid on my part. I’m really sorry Jiwoo, can we maybe… start over?” Jiwoo’s grin somehow got brighter, and the girl nodded her head.

“Stupid, you didn’t even let me explain myself.” Jiwoo jokes, flicking her shoulder jokingly.

“I was hoping we could talk actually, I was gonna take us to the park where we could eat and hopefully talk things out.”

“Sounds good to me!” 

Sooyoung put the car in drive and silence filled the car. For the first time, there was just silence between them, and Sooyoung wanted to say something, anything, but wasn’t sure what to say. Usually Jiwoo was the one talking. Minutes passed and Sooyoung still was trying desperately to force herself to ask how Jiwoo’s day was, ask her anything. She wondered what the younger girl was thinking...

“I didn’t want to reject you.” Jiwoo said softy, breaking the silence. “I um… it’s just,” Jiwoo paused, taking a deep breath, “after this semester is over, I have to leave for a while. I’m not sure when I’ll be back, or if I will be at all. I have to deal with some...stuff.”

Sooyoung was confused, “I thought you were planning on taking a language abroad next semester?” Sooyoung asked. The girl talked about her plans for school a lot, and the trip for her language studies was something she was excited for.

“Yeah well, I can’t anymore…” Jiwoo said sadly, leaving Sooyoung more concerned. It was only a week or two ago when Jiwoo talked about the trip with stars in her eyes, going on about the singing opportunities she would get and all the things she was going to do. Something definitely happened, and Sooyoung was growing more worried. As Sooyoung mulled over this, Jiwoo grew quiet. 

Suddenly the girl perked up, all hints of sadness from her voice gone. “But, that’s why I had to say no, at least for now, so don’t be sad Sooyoungie, I will be back soon and maybe then we can-”

“Wait Jiwoo, did something happen? Are you okay?” Sooyoung interrupted her, getting much more concerned for her friend.

“Everything is fine Soo,” Jiwoo said, swiftly changing the subject, “anyway, what food did you get us, it smells great!”

-

Sooyoung couldn’t shake the feeling something was really wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have been listening to D-1 by yves, puzzle by choerry, and travel by mamamoo on repeat. send help
> 
> also comment good loona b sides ive been discovering there music lately and im obsessed


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have so many ideas im trying to put into this so sorry if it feels all over the place. Thank you for the kudos and kind comments btw :) right now ive been learning video editing and im doing an edit to each loona member, I’ll post them to youtube and maybe twitter but i dont have a youtube channel just yet. If it sounds interesting follow me @Licetree my first video will be up soon :)

Sooyoung has never really been exposed to the realities of financial insecurity. Her dad was a millionaire after all, and the only reason she even had her shitty fast food job was to pay for things she didn’t want her dad to track. It definitely wasn’t a necessity.

So having Junguen calling her in a panic about whether she had found a new roommate was confusing her. How it had to do something with Jiwoo was even more confusing.

Jinsoul moved out of their shared apartment about a month ago to move in with Junguen, after Jiwoo moved out.

Jiwoo…

The girl had practically fallen off the face of the Earth a few months ago, about a week after they had talked at the park.

Jiwoo told her to wait, but it was almost the summer, and months had passed since she had even heard from the younger.

The plethora of texts Sooyoung had sent the girl weren’t even delivering anymore. 

It was very worrying.

As crazy as it was, life moved on. Sooyoung kept working, starting drowning herself in her schoolwork, spending her weekends drinking away her consciousness at parties. All on repeat. 

“Junguen, please, slow down.” Sooyoung said, interrupting her rambles. “Just, start over, and talk a bit slower.”

“Sooyoung, I know we aren’t as close as you and Jinsoul, but I have to ask you a favor… you still have an open room, right?”

“Uh, yeah why?”

“Well, Jiwoo… she and her mom got evicted, and her mom is in the hospital.”

“Wait, Jiwoo’s been here the whole time?” 

“Sooyoung that’s not the point, she needs a place to stay.”

“I-” Sooyoung took a deep breath. The girl in question had tormented Sooyoung these past months with her absence. Sooyoung was worried about her friend. It wasn’t about Sooyoung’s love for the girl,, she was genuinely concerned for her friend. Something was really off about her that last conversation they had in the park.

“Okay, is she at your place right now? I can come pick her up and help her move in.”

“Really? Soo you’re a lifesaver thank you. I know this isn’t easy for you, but we offered for her to stay with us and she is just so fucking stubborn… seriously thanks Sooyoung.”

“Well, I have the rest of my afternoon free, what do you need me to do?”

“Well,” Junguen paused, clearly there was something she was hiding the way her tone changed.

“What is it?”

Suddenly Jinsoul spoke up, “Sorry Soo but we haven’t really told Jiwoo we are asking you for help and she will probably be mad because she specifically told us not to involve you and we didn’t know who else would be able to get through to her so she probably is gonna be a handful.” Jinsoul spoke about as fast as Junguen was earlier. Those two spent way too much time together.

“Junguen have I been on speaker this whole time?” Sooyoung asked, realizing Jinsoul probably masterminded this whole situation.

“Maybe? I’m sorry Jinsoul was just very eager.”

“Look, just tell me where she is, alright? I’ll take care of it, thanks for letting me know you guys.”

“Soo I’m really sorry to involve you in this. I know she broke your heart but the fact that you’re still doing this for my dumbass best friend means a lot. It’s nice to know she has other people that have her back.” Junguen said softly. “I’ll send you her address, she has to move out in a week, so I guess the sooner she’s moved out the better.

“Okay, I will go over there now, I’ll update you guys both soon.”

“Love you Yves!” Jinsoul yelled into the phone, using her nickname from highschool.

“Love you guys too, bye.”

-

She had this. Jiwoo was a girl. Sooyoung was a girl. They were both girl’s. This was fine.

Why did her confidence simply evaporate at even the thought of interacting with her?

She was sitting in her car, outside of the address that Junguen texted her moments after their phone call. Before leaving, Sooyoung spent a solid twenty minutes to clean out her whole car, which had accumulated a lot of trash Sooyoung began to neglect. Her car was practically as clean as it was when she got it brand new.

Jiwoo just had that influence over her.

She was a grown woman, an adult, she could do this. Jiwoo was her friend first, and it was obvious something was going on. Sooyoung had to be there for her.

Taking a deep breath, she exited her car and crossed the street, walking the path up to the front door. Grass and weeds had overgrown in the cracks, the yard was just overgrown in general. The house itself looked old, and very small, with some of the side paneling missing, and the window sill paint was peeled. 

The house inside looked dark, she couldn’t see any lights on. Was this really the right place? It looked abandoned.

She knocked on the door anyway, seeing as there was no doorbell, just a whole with wires sticking out where Sooyoung assumed it was supposed to go. Sooyoung waited a few moments before knocking again, not hearing any motion inside. 

She waited about a minute before checking the address Junguen sent her, confirming she was in the right place.

Sooyoung was about to leave when she heard a loud crash inside, and Sooyoung panicked.

“Jiwoo? Are you in there?” She knocked again, with urgency. “Jiwoo?” More muffled noise. She tested the doorknob, and it was locked. Sooyoung knew something was wrong, the feeling in her gut was rarely wrong.

Unsure of what to do, she stepped down from the front door and walked around the side of the house, looking for another entrance. This would be hard to explain if somehow this wasn’t Jiwoo’s house.

As she rounded the corner, Sooyoung saw a backdoor, with the small backyard in practically the same condition as front, with the grass even more overgrown back here.

She tested the door knob, not even expecting it to be unlocked, but desperate for anyway of getting inside.

Surprisingly, the door clicked open. She slowly entered, “Jiwoo? It’s me Sooyoung, you here?”

“Sooyoung?” A voice whispered, so soft Sooyoung thought she was imagining it. The inside of the house was barren, the walls were empty and it seemed she entered from the dining room, where there was a table and three chairs. It was dark, only lit by the peeking sunlight coming in through cracks of the shade. 

“Jiwoo?” Sooyoung looked around, the kitchen was eerily empty as well. She walked through the kitchen to what Sooyoung assumed would be a living room, where she finally saw Jiwoo. The girl was sitting in a corner of the room, straight on the carpet, which was dotted with strange stains. The room itself was completely empty, save for the lone girl in the corner, hugging her knees to her chest.

“God Jiwoo…”

She heard the girl sniffle a few times, and Sooyoung felt her heart break. The pain she felt on behalf of the younger girl was so potent and real, it scared Sooyoung slightly. 

Her body moved forward on it’s own, and she knelt down beside the crying girl, unsure of the best way to comfort her.

“Wooming? May I hug you?” She asked, making her voice as gentle as possible. Jiwoo was unresponsive to her questions, so Sooyoung carefully shifted until she was crouched directly in front of her, moving her hands to lift up her face which she had hidden in her knees.

Sooyoung wiped the tears flowing down her cheeks, and Jiwoo’s eyes widened when she finally looked at Sooyoung.

“S-Sooyoung? You’re actually here?”

“Yes Jiwoo, I’m here to help, however you need.” Sooyoung moved her hands to Jiwoo’s wrists, prying them from the iron grip she had around her legs. 

“You’re gonna be staying with me for the time being, and don’t even think about arguing because I’m not gonna sit here and listen to that, so let’s get up, yeah?” Sooyoung grabbed her hands and helped her up. Now standing, Sooyoung pulled the younger girl into a hug, keeping her wrapped in an embrace until her sniffles stopped, and Sooyoung smiled, because she finally had Jiwoo back. In her mind, it no longer mattered if they dated, or anything like that. What really mattered to her was that Jiwoo was safe and happy.

“Whatever you need to take with you let’s pack up, and then we will get you out of here, okay? I have some boxes in my car.”

Jiwoo only nodded, her head still buried in her neck. Shocked that she didn’t argue or put up any objections, Sooyoung pulled out from the hug, putting her hands on the girl’s shoulders.

“Well, let’s get to work then.” Giving her a smile, she joined their hands and led them out the door to her car.

As much as Sooyoung wanted to ask about what had happened to her, why she was gone for so long, why she didn’t reach out to anyone, now was not the time for that.

“Jinsoul left her mattress at my place when she moved for um,” she coughed, the thought of their best friends together was still pretty new, “reasons I think should be obvious, and I haven’t gotten around to moving it so you will able to use hers until we can get the big stuff moved out. We can come back later for that stuff, but for now we should just get you moved.”

Jiwoo just nodded, staring at their joined hands. It was getting dark, and even as the warm spring air settled, she still shivered. The girl was in such a vulnerable state, and the urge to protect Jiwoo at all costs grew inside.

Sooyoung stopped at the trunk, removing her car keys from her coat pocket before shrugging off the leather jacket, wrapping it around Jiwoo’s shoulders. Opening the trunk, she grabbed the boxes and walked back to the house. Jiwoo wordlessly followed.

“So, where should we start?” Sooyoung asked, looking around the barren living room.

“Let’s just go to the bedroom, there isn’t anything out here.” Jiwoo said, walking straight through the living room to a hallway with two doors on either side. The hallway was completely dark, and Sooyoung just followed the back of Jiwoo as she led her to a room. The room looked significantly more lived in than the rest of the empty house. There was a small closet with her clothes, as a well as a small shelf next to it filled with books. 

A mattress was resting on the floor in one corner, and a small desk was covered in notebooks. An old keyboard was plugged in resting on the floor, and it was missing a few keys. 

“Okay, just tell me what you want to take, and we will pack it up.” Sooyoung wasn’t used to being the positive one, but she hoped her smile was helping Jiwoo, at least a little bit.

In silence, they packed Jiwoo’s clothes and books into boxes. In reality, the girl really didn’t have a lot of stuff to pack in the first place, so Sooyoung ended up hauling the boxes out to the car while Jiwoo packed. 

“You know, Jinsoul left her room practically furnished, if you want to check it out before you decide what to take, that’s cool too. That way we don’t have to haul the big stuff out of here if we don’t need to.”

Jiwoo stuffed some final items in her backpack as Sooyoung returned from hauling out the last box.

“She doesn’t need it?” Jiwoo asked, looking up at her shyly.

“No, those boring old grandma’s have been going to Ikea a lot and redecorating, so they have more than enough furniture.”

A small smile graced itself on Jiwoo’s lips, and Sooyoung took that as a win.

“Anything else?”

“I want my keyboard.”

Sooyoung nodded, unplugging it and carrying it out, Jiwoo following close behind. Sooyoung carefully placed the keyboard in the backseat, offering to take Jiwoo’s backpack and putting it next to it.

“Okay, I don’t know about you, but I’m starving, wanna get some food?” Sooyoung asked, starting her car.

“I-I’m not hungry.” Jiwoo said, buckling up her seatbelt.

“You know, I think you’ve had a long day, let’s just get home so you can rest.” Sooyoung pulled her car out and headed home. The silence was back, and it didn’t feel right between them at all. Sooyoung decided to let it stew, unsure if now was the best time to try anything. Maybe tomorrow.

-

Sooyoung guided Jiwoo into her apartment, turning on the lights as she kicked off her shoes. 

“I put some fresh sheets on Jinsoul’s bed and cleaned it up in there so it should be ready for you.” 

Jiwoo didn’t respond, and Sooyoung looked back at the girl’s face to see her eyes began to glaze over.

“Jiwoo, you look tired. Why don’t you get some rest? I will take care of everything else.” Sooyoung grabbed her hand and took her to Jinsoul’s vacant room. Encouraging Jiwoo to lay down, the girl basically flopped down on her back, staring at the ceiling. It was almost like no one was there, she was just a body, unresponsive.

It seemed Jiwoo was just reacting to something, but Sooyoung couldn’t figure out what was wrong. She remembered learning in a psych class, something about trauma reactions. Tears formed in her eyes seeing the bright fire that was Jiwoo being extinguished. It wasn’t fair. Why did the brightest people, who had the most positive impact on the world around them, have to suffer like this? It was certainly enough to radicalize her into fighting whoever did this to Jiwoo.

Sooyoung carefully took off Jiwoo’s shoes and socks, setting them neatly next to the door. Then she wrapped her arms underneath her and scooted her up, propping her on the pillows enough to take her jacket off. Sooyoung put the jacket back on, then lifted up Jiwoo’s legs slightly to pull back the blanket from underneath her. Tucking her in, Sooyoung shut off the lights and left. She took this time to call Junguen, and give her an update.

Her phone only rang once or twice before Junguen picked up. 

“Soo? Oh thank god that took forever. What is going on?” Of course Jinsoul had to pick up. 

“Jiwoo is asleep at my place right now, I think she’s had a pretty rough day. Did she just reach out to you guys?”

“She didn’t reach out at all, I’ve been going to check on her every now and again and when I went today I could tell something changed… thank you so much for helping her Soo, really.” She could tell by the way Junguen’s voice began to crack, she wasn’t the only one who’s heart was hurting for Jiwoo. Junguen was truly a great friend. 

“Well, I will try to figure things out with her tomorrow, for now, I’m gonna help move her in and stuff.”

“Okay, thanks for letting us know, if you need any help just tell us and we can stop by.”

“I have it taken care of, you guys just relax.”

“Okay, we’ll let you go, thanks again Soo.”

“Yeah of course, bye guys.”

-

Compared to when Sooyoung and Jinsoul had first moved into this apartment, moving in Jiwoo’s stuff was easy. It only took her a few trips to carry everything up, and she was doing it alone. 

It felt almost like a reality check, how some people have it so much worse, yet she still complains like a baby about her dad. These past few months, the biggest thing she had to worry about was a girl rejecting her, and she complained all the time about her rich father.

In her almost two years of knowing Jiwoo, not once has she ever complained. In hindsight, it was obvious the girl was dealing with troubles, but she always listened to Sooyoung’s dumb problems instead.

Jiwoo uplifted everyone around her, and Sooyoung felt idiotically selfish. 

She stacked the boxes, her backpack and keyboard in the living room, not wanting to bother Jiwoo with hauling it in her room just yet. Sooyoung sat down on the couch after making herself a cup of tea, intending to unwind, but she stared at the battered keyboard Jiwoo had and her mind wouldn’t turn off.

Jiwoo was really back, and now they were going to be living together. It all happened so fast, Sooyoung doesn’t think her mind has had enough time to process today’s events. 

She pulled out her phone, intending to make a call.

“Hello?”

“Hey Hyunjin,”

“Sooyoung? Damn it’s been a while, what’s going on?”

“Nothing much, I was just wondering if you’re still in touch with that music nerd friend you have?”

“Wait… are you talking about Ryujin?” 

“Yeah! I was hoping to get her opinion on buying a keyboard, and I want to talk to someone who knows their stuff.”

“Well, you’re in luck! She actually works at a music store! I can send you her number.”

“Damn thanks Hyun, I owe you one.” 

“Wait, I didn’t even know you played an instrument. What do you need a keyboard for?”

“Well… it’s not actually for me,” Sooyoung raked a hand through her hair, “it um- it may or may not be for a girl.”

“Oh my god really?” She heard the girl gasp, and Sooyoung could feel herself blush from embarrassment. The girl started yelling over the phone.

“Hyejoo! Chaewon! Heejin! Come here, it's an emergency!” Sooyoung had to hold the phone away from her ear as the yelling and clattering became extremely loud. She heard Heejin yelling in the background.

“Hyunjin, what’s wrong? Are you okay? What’s the emergency?”

“Sooyoung has evolved, she actually has a girl and-”

“Wait a minute you’re telling me that old hag finally got herself a girl after moping for like four straight months?” She heard the distinct voice of Hyejoo chime in. 

“Yeah I have to see that to believe it.” Chaewon said. Sooyoung was gonna kill them all.

“Wait, this was the emergency?” Heejin asked.

“Sooyoung, FaceTime me right now!” Hyunjin demanded, and she saw her screen flash with the call screen. 

She hesitantly pressed the answer button.

The screen was shaky, as it was clear Hyunjin was fighting for control over the phone. Chaewon’s blue hair could be seen butting in against Heejin, and Hyejoo could be heard yelling in the background.

Utter chaos.

“Oh my god, I swear she’s blushing. Look at those red pixels.” Chaewon laughed hysterically. 

“So who is it?” Hyunjin yelled, now behind Hyejoo who stole the phone and was running around the room they were in. 

“Yeah, who is this girl? She’s powerful enough to make you change your old ways of like, having a girl for like three days?” Hyejoo said, smirking at the camera, before the phone dropped. 

The clatter sounded weird from the other end of the speaker, but Hyunjin and Hyejoo’s screeching in the background told her enough of what happened.

After having a dark screen for a few seconds, Heejin picked up the phone and took it back to the couch.

“So, who is this girl? Can we meet her?” Heejin asked sitting next to Chaewon.

“She’s actually my new roommate, I’ve known her for a while.”

“Are you dating now, or is this how you’re gonna ask her out?” 

“Well, I don’t really plan on asking her out…”

“Guy’s, Sooyoung’s a sugar daddy!” Chaewon yelled, making the yelling in the background pause. 

The only thing she could do was smile at the younger girl’s antics. They loved to make Sooyoung the target of their jokes.

“Okay, just tell Hyunjin to text me Ryunjin’s number, I have to go, but I love you all.”

“Bye Sooyoungieee,” Heejin waved, waving at the screen.

Sooyoung hung up the phone with a grin on her face.

-

Sooyoung ended up studying the rest of the night. She had a big test coming up in calculus as well as her business law class. As much as Sooyoung despised these classes, her father ‘encouraged’ her to take them. She wanted to take performance classes and musical theory studies but her father laughed in her face when she asked.

All he said was pursuing her interests would result in failure. The arts weren’t practical, so she didn’t get her degree in performing arts, and that was that.

Much time passed and Sooyoung lost herself in the flashcards and practice problems. Failing was what scared her, she had to do well. Her father fully intended for her to train under him out of college. He told her she had some duties to fulfill that her family had been doing for years.

Thinking about it, she really knew little about what her father actually did. She knew he was an important executive for a company called Möbius Enterprise, but knew little of what his actual job was. The company itself was privatized and very small, and not much was published about it other than it conducts research and technology development.

She had met the CEO once, he came over to their house when Sooyoung was a child. She remembered being inexplicably afraid of him, so Sooyoung ran and hid the first opportunity she got. His eyepatch, the huge jagged scar on his face, and his stone cold glare was frightening to the younger girl.

All she really knew was he had to travel a lot for work.

Sometimes she wondered...

-

“Sooyoung?”

Her eyes opened slowly, the room she was in was brightly lit, and her eyes slowly were adjusting. Sooyoung realized from the ache in her back and neck that she fell asleep at her desk studying again. Yawning she sat up, rubbing her eyes trying to wake herself up.

“Sooyoung, why are you sleeping there?”

“Oh, Jiwoo, good morning. I think I just got carried away studying and fell asleep.”

“Oh, well you should sleep in your bed, that’s not good for your back at all.” Jiwoo looked at her with a pout, “you don’t do that often, do you?” She asked, her eyes wide. 

This was nothing at all like the Jiwoo she helped yesterday. Sooyoung just couldn’t figure her out. 

“Well, if you’re gonna be living here, I suppose I can’t lie and say it’s a one time thing.” Sooyoung admitted, scratching the back of her head nervously. 

Jiwoo’s bright face darkened slightly, and she seemed to slightly deflate at Sooyoung mentioning this.

“Yesterday I never said this, but thank you. Seriously, thank you for caring for me. I know you probably want an explanation, but I need some time.”

“Jiwoo, I understand, don’t apologize.” Sooyoung gave her a tired smile, still not quite awake. “Well, it’s the weekend, I’ll take off work and we can spend the whole weekend together.” 

Jiwoo just gave her that signature toothy smile, and suddenly everything felt like it was going to be fine. Her dad wasn’t bearing down over her shoulders, pressuring her more and more, and Jiwoo wasn’t on the verge of homelessness. They were together, and everything was gonna be okay.

“Well, I’ll get started on some breakfast. Did you sleep good?” Jiwoo nodded, following Sooyoung into the kitchen.

“I didn’t know you could cook.” She mentioned as Sooyoung pulled out ingredients and a cutting board.

“Oh, when I was a kid, one of my caretakers Byulyi-unnie was around to teach me. We cooked and baked a lot together.” Jiwoo nodded, watching her whisk around the kitchen, having taken a seat on one of the stools at the little island the kitchen had. 

They were quiet for a while, before Sooyoung just had to ask. 

“Jiwoo, how come you didn’t want Junguen or Jinsoul to tell me you needed help?”

The girl looked down at her hands, fiddling with her sleeves, “I’m sorry Sooyoung,” she started, speaking softly. “I didn’t want to bother you or anyone else. I didn’t want you to pity me or feel sad for me.” 

“Wooming- I know things kinda got awkward between us, but we’re friends. I care about you so much- you could never bother me. Please…” Sooyoung paused, her heart breaking all over again, “just understand that I will never be bothered to help you, and I want to help you.”

Jiwoo didn’t respond, and Sooyoung wanted to make the girl understand how much Jiwoo meant to her, whatever it took to make her understand she was loved.

“Hey Jiwoo?”

“Yeah?”

“How do you feel about pillow forts?”

-

The whole day Sooyoung and Jiwoo spent building a fort and hiding inside of it, away from the world. 

Being in such close proximity with the girl she has fallen hard for was difficult, but coaxing that beautiful laugh from Jiwoo was worth it. Jiwoo was worth it.

They watched movies, laughed together, and ended up snuggling closely together after Jiwoo crossed the awkward distance between them. Jiwoo was always the one who crossed the distance, and having her in her arms made everything feel complete. She was willing to do anything for this girl. 

“Hey Sooyoung, I know I said this earlier but thanks for being patient with me, I realize I’m not exactly…” 

“Not exactly what?”

“Nevermind, just thanks.”

After a few more minutes Jiwoo rested her head on Sooyoung’s lap and her soft breaths told her she fell asleep. Sooyoung stroked her hair gently, trying to figure out what this meant for them. 

Was this really platonic, friend activities to Jiwoo? The line they had crossed has become less clear, and it was hard to figure out where she stood.

Not wanting to mull it over any longer, Sooyoung laid back against the pillows and closed her eyes, falling asleep with one of the most important people to her right there.

Her mind was at peace.

-

“Look, we don’t exactly have time on our side here.”

“I know.”

“Somehow she got the money to buy a plane ticket under another name.”

“Do you think she stole someone’s identity, or actually has the influence to forge her own?”

“Probably stolen, I have people looking into it, but I think she’s desperate at this point. That family doesn’t have the influence that they once did.”

“Well, I trust you in this matter, after so long, we’ve finally caught her unprepared.”

“Yeah, soon you won’t have to worry about it.”

“Yes, it will all be over soon.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who where they??? 0o0

**Author's Note:**

> tell me what you think, also i wrote this after watching some clip of an interview chuu did and i cant find it now and im mad cuz it was so sadddddd :( sorry for errors i dont really have someone to beta or anything


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